Who knew it was so complicated?

27 Nov

Well, I guess I did, but it still surprises me everytime I try.

Making mommy friends.

I have been worrying about the boys making friends, fitting in, picking the right kid to play with, setting up playdates, and how they miss their old friends. Trying to encourage them to email and write to old friends in their free time, but also wanting them to take that time and spend it making connections here. I have to say, we haven’t been great about keeping in touch, but I’m not sure if it’s so much the distance or just daily life getting in the way.
Which brings me to a topic that has been thrown around in many other mommy blogs across the internet. Mommy dating, is what one article I remember reading called it. There are so many different criteria these new friends have to fit.  And I feel the more seasoned a parent I become, the pickier, which is not always a good thing. But not only do they have to fit into your rubric, you have to align with theirs.
The places I hold my interviews have been the bus stop, the boys’ classroom friends, and our villas’ playgroup.

Factors that need to be considered:
Age of children, parenting style, common interests, common language, and a few others that are becoming more apparent especially with all the varying backgrounds, cultures, religions, etc.

I am also struggling with the fact that we are suppose to only be here for another 6 months or so. I am creating strong bonds with someone who will be across the world when we return home. The most common tie we all have is the situation we find ourselves in, China. Getting beyond the initial face value and building a lifetime friendship is the hardest part. Then there is finding the time for that connection or mommy date in between juggling kids schedules, and only in China moments. As moms, we need those mommy playdates, to vent, share, bounce ideas off of, and just be ourselves.
I keep thinking of that girlscout song, make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.
One day these friends will be golden just like the ones I miss for mommy playdates back home.

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